Dying Wick

I hope you remember
to not ever forget;
I'm the last-lit candle
at the end of the set.
I'm another postcard
on the bottom of the pile;
I'll travel the world
to make you smile.

If you want to come home,
however long you've been gone,
we will light your way back,
smoldering one by one.
Just follow the faces
of your family and friends;
those you've missed in the front,
those like me at the end.

The music you make
and the pictures you paint
leave stains on our hearts;
though already they fade,
we can still hear your voice
call "I love you"s behind
to no one specific.
Yet we all reply:

"We love you forever!"
I hope you've realized
everyone of our hearts
broke saying goodbye.

I hope you remember
to not ever forget;
I'll whisper to your ghost
like a broken cassette:
I will love you forever
even though we've just met.
I'll be the last candle
at the end of the set.

Undercurrents

One sea of rivers
All go different directions
Forever unchanged.

One ocean of streams
Peripherally, they meet
Then never the same.

----------

What does it matter - 'worth it'?

Some things - not our decision - in which case - all or nothing.

Make sense - fragments - never connect - with zero divisions - one way - next.

I'm waiting for the next stop.
I hope I haven't missed it.
~M

Daydreaming in Algebra

Stealing stars out of electrical sockets;
they sting, so I slip them into my pocket.
I'll snack on them later, when it turns dark:
tongues tend to be tamer when dancing with sparks.

And I'll just swallow and smile
I'll just swallow and smile
Just swallow and smile
Swallow and smile
and smile.

Smile,
~M

I know you.

I know you.
I know how you think. How you feel.

I know you.
You think you're not good enough.
You hear these words, you hear them all the time.
Wow, you're so smart. So pretty. So talented.
In one ear, out the other.
Do they really mean it?
You will never know.
You wonder to sleep.

I know you.
You don't sleep.
You miss dreaming.
You dream too much during the day.
Don't you know how daydreams hurt?
Because your heart isn't in them so naturally, like a dream.
You put it in consciously, and it pulls and tugs.
Dreaming during the day is wanting. Want want want.
I know.

I know you.
I know how you sing when you think no one is around.
I know how it feels--loud, clear, invincible.
But when people are listening, it's never right.

I know how you put emotion into your music.
You want beauty to break your heart.
You've been broken by a song, a lyric, a voice, a word, before.
You want that.
And you break and break again.
And then you wonder how you've gotten so broken inside.

I know you.
You want to live. You want to feel alive.
You don't know, but I do.
You've tasted it. But you hunger, like so many.
I know it.

I know you.

I love you. And I hope you find what you're looking for.

Bit of a Relapse

You remember those nights we'd spend on the ArtChat until four in the morning?
You remember having sleepovers and genderbending characters from our favorite shows and games?
You remember the MSN chats with the mega crossovers at which we'd laugh so hard?
The zombies of us we doodled?
Your head wings that let you fly on an invisible chair?

I remember all of this.

I finished Soul Eater today. Er, yesterday. The 18th. It was fantastic.
I love character songs.
Kid's voice actor has such a gorgeous voice. <3
Black Star's voice actor(actress, actually) make Black Star out to be an incredible singer. The idea of even vocal power surging from the little powerful Star is...well, it's pure awesome.
Tsubaki has a rich voice. C: Much appreciated.

Soul is hot.
THERE. I said it.
I think a lot has to do with his SULTRY VOICE. >u>
Kid also has muy SULTRY VOICE.
I tend to like the characters with the SULTRY VOICES.
Tsubaki's voice is almost sultry, but she's too YAY to be omghot.
And I'm not so into girls .-.
Romeo had a pretty sultry voice in the recordings in English last year.

MakaxSoul is also good.

Here is Black Star and Tsubaki's song, "My Star" sketch.


I also drew a Liz+Kid+Patty pic, but it's too late to scan. Scanner is noisy and too close to parents' bedroom.

A little scoop of ice cream...

I made these. Long before Tuesday's shopping adventure where we came across a shirt with rainbow cartoon bears. I had, like, a reference for the head, two for the body, and three for the tail. @_@

Tuesday was phenomenal. I don't remember having so much fun. <3
I've missed our little trio. The whole gang is fantastic, but there's nothing quite like a day of just us. C:

--

I just watched one of the most intense Soul Eater episodes yet, as the series comes to it's climax and close, and what do you know, halfway through, Megavideo screws up and the sounds is late. There was a lot of screaming in that episode too. It blew my mind and messed with my eyes, trying to connect the subs the the sound to the effects to the battle to the action to the characters constantly flying across the screen.
So Marie's eyepatch has to do with the outlet of her "Redemption" soul wavelength...impressive. One of the most destructive weapons, imbued with one of the greatest healing powers.
I love this show. <3

--

I've been overeating. It makes me feel horrible, but I keep feeling like I need to eat. x_X
I don't know what's going on with me.

--

I'm not done with my summer reading. I don't know how I can finish the Mark Twain in time. ;_;

--

I was shocked too. By how eager "friends" were to attack other "friends". But I haven't been around them much. My closer friends aren't like that. It made me wonder how many others in the world are like that. And how many are like you, scarred to thinking that everyone is the same, and there is no kindness anymore.

--

It's becoming harder to talk to people directly. I'm so used to shutting up inside over the summer. I've talked more than ever, yet have rarely left the house. It's been very unrewarding.
But I'm not feeling quite so depressed as it might sound. Which is also bordering disappointing.
It makes me thing....so it's true. That the less I live, the less I feel.

I don't know what to think of that. I usually go by gut-feeling, but as I said, I'm not feeling much of anything.




I want another snack. -_-

"Do Not Open"

That's almost like an invitation, isn't it?


I had initially wanted to crop it under the area where the dude'd have eyes, but I like his hair, so here I'm keeping it.
Might change my mind later.
I also initially had the box say MYTOYBOX
because that is what I was listening to when I got this idea
but I got distracted
and changed my music in the middle of it
and lost the mood
and accidentally just drew whatever.
It's not very MYTOYBOX-y now.

Now it is just Brain Spew.
Enjoy.


Still dreaming,
~M

Well...

Behold.
A WIP.

Thank you.
Have a nice day~

<3
~M

Do you remember when...?

We used to sing,
Shalala lalalala lala ladeeda
Just like that.
Shalala lalalala lala ladeeda
La dee da~

---------------------------------------------------------



---------------------------------------------------------

This is the story of a girl
who cried a river and drowned the whole world
While she looked so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles~

Thursday Night Confessions

I admit, I am a hypocrite
Just another human being.
I admit, I am a cynic
I can't believe what I'm not seeing.

I admit, I am a page-ripper
Tear out my memories.
I admit, I am a liar
I encourage kids to dream.

Because, I must admit
to see them lose
it simply breaks my heart.
But it's even worse
to know them, numb,
give up before the start.

I admit, I've done my dreaming
There's not much left for me to do.
I admit, I'm done with chasing
down the wish that won't come true.

But I admit, I never, ever want
the young to stop believing.
I admit, I am a hypocrite
Just another human being.

This poetry thing is quite alarming.
It's like since I destroyed the old diary I found in my nightstand
I tried to take away my past.
And now I have to relive it, to prove this part of me once existed.
This part to which words once flowed
that could never quite capture the feelings I kept.
Rhymes that felt clumsy to the tongue, but that I had to share anyway.
I don't even really like my writing, personally. But I give it to the public in surrender.
Old habits might die hard.
Some things don't die at all.

It might be regrettable. I can't tell right now.
I am so confused.
I don't know what keeps coming over me around the same hour every night.
Maybe if I keep track of these I'll find a pattern.

I didn't mean to sound so egotistical and kind of angsty. I apologize.

Don't worry, guys, I'm still looking up
~M

When the Ocean comes to play...

The moon & the sun
will have their fun
but run away!
When the Ocean comes to play

The wind may sigh
The clouds may cry
Will no one stay?
When the Ocean comes to play

From the angry deep
The detritus weeps
To recall the day
When the Ocean came to play

Mother, daughter
Brother, father
Have washed away
When the Ocean came to play

Where the waters do keep
souls forever asleep
Those who wanted to stay
When the Ocean came to play

But the moon & the sun
have had their fun
Not even they stay
When the Ocean comes to play

You might not see it.
They might not see it.
But I swear I see it.
You are beautiful.
One day, I pray, you'll understand.


To no one in particular,
~M


P.S. I'm getting into writing again. It feels so wrong, yet so right at the same time.
Wish me luck.

Downbeat

Our
- hearts are keeping time
(UPBEAT, DOWNBEAT, OFFBEAT)
We
- don't have to rhyme
Our bodies
- naturally align
Movement
- echoed, amplified
(UPBEAT, DOWNBEAT, OFFBEAT)
Mirror
- images collide
Feelings
- spark, electrified
High-voltage
- circuit of the mind
(UPBEAT, DOWNBEAT, OFFBEAT)

Our
- hearts are keeping time
(UPBEAT, DOWNBEAT, OFFBEAT)
We
- don't have to rhyme
Some things we
- cannot verbalize
[There's nothing
- left of me to find]
When I
- am so lost in your eyes...

This is me
this is me on an empty night.
The music is nothing
means nothing
is empty.
It hasn't stopped;
the time is off;
I need a song
to match me.

This is me
wishing I had Fruity Loops. :P
Or maybe Vocaloid, but I don't know how it works...
I don't know FL either, but I know someone who does...
I kind of really wish he would talk to me...
( I'm feeling...empty tonight )
But he's enjoying himself. So I understand.
I can wait.

Until further notice,
~M

A bit of an addict for dramatics..

SO HERE'S HOW IT GOES:
I drew this sketch, you might have seen it before. I coloured it without lines, something I rarely do because I'm not that patient and suck at it. BUT MY LINES ARE ALWAYS TERRIBLE, so this actually looks REALLY SPIFF if I do say so myself :D
Didn't size down the sketch before colouring, to keep it as high-res as possible O:
Making a large poster version of my art to show off my new stamp and practice my signature made me feel like an egotistical @ss.
But I enjoyed myself. This was fun. It took crazy long, because I redid almost every element about 5 times or more (the hair, the shirt, the headphones, the giant lily, the fish, the outlet, etc.), but it was well worth it.
I should be even more of an egotistical @ss and get this printed all huge-like and put it in the Fine Arts Festival. AND SHOW SOME PEOPLE THAT I CAN IN FACT DO GRAPHIC ARTS WITHOUT THE ASSISTANCE OF A CLASS.
Even though having a class dedicated to it sounds pretty darn fun. :D


Some early WIP shots:



I'm not looking forward to giving my speech.
I'm late for my nightly Skype appointment with one of the coolest cats this side of the moon has ever known to breathe.
What do you guys think of omitting the choker thing? *doesn't want to admit she actually forgot to put them in* I left out the arm-tattoo-like thing on purpose, it was a bit too Disney's Pocahontas for me.
Anyway, feedback is always fun.

"Dreams the way we plan them...

...if we work in tandem
there's no fight we cannot win!"



.....Idk, spontaneous musical number outburst plzkthx.

-------------------

I DREW A SHOE.

Cropped/sized-down for practicality.
Fail-marked because I suck that way :D
I got lazy near the end. Drawing shoes takes so long in one cramped position, I don't know why I'm so drawn to doing it.

Scan Dump

HARK! I bring news of immense joy! I have recently done battle with my monster of a scanner, temporarily tamed the beast, and have returned with a mighty arsenal of scans at my disposal! I share a few of these now, in the order in which they occurred:


Scan of a sketch from 12/30/08
Some AZN for you AZN-ophiles out there.
Sketch is so smeary; I'll need to clean this up in, like, Photoshop or something. :/



2/4/09, my friggin' ROCK STAR from Geometry xD



3/1/09, disprop. shizz. I'm getting better at hair pencil-shading! That wrist is thicker than the other. This is so fugly. The proportions are all wrong. I sort of wanted it to look awkward, but this is a bit much. I should learn to work at a DESK instead of drawing with the sketchbook at a strange tilt in my lap with my legs crossed.



3/2/09 - Even I am fond of my own work here. It's...unusual for me. I love it.

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Current LOLs and random thoughts:

• "Sapscapade" xD <333
• Public bathroom toilet paper is hardly toilet paper at all D:<
• My friggin' ROCK STAR from February
  
• That Green Gentleman, Pas de Cheval
• Green Finch and Linet Bird, A Little Priest
• Regina Spektor, Kate Nash
• Free Rice
• Zyzy :D You've been missed!
• The wonders of SKYPE
• You <3

Keep in touch <3
~M, over and out

The Ants Go Marching

Ugh, I've been wanting to update this for ages, and I've got several new sketches, but my scanner is a monster.
So sorry to disappoint. If it's any consolation, I too am disappointed.
Sort of.
No art club meeting tomorrow :C It's a bit sad thinking that so many good points can potentially come out of this one let-down. But I'll make do with these good points, as I should C: I'll get home early (er, at reasonable time), write my speech (WHICH I HAVEN'T DONE YET;;), maybe write down my biology word parts (will probably just end up doodling), tame my scanner (so I may upload more interesting things than old photos with which I was experimenting with blurs and gradients), and get on Skype C:
Actually, I might help with dinner. Moreso than usual. Like, I might actually help PREPARE FOOD instead of cleaning up afterward, and occasionally cooking rice. I don't know, I'm just feeling.......indescribable. Almost like I can take on anything....work-related. Like cooking xD I normally avoid cooking; bad things tend to happen when I cook anything other than rice. But anyway, I think the point of this paragraph was to illustrate my current state of mind. Which is.....awesome.

;D <3

So today I DEFEATED the Reading FCAT. Hopefully. At any rate, it seemed like I did well.
I'mma take on that Math FCAT like......I can't think of what right now. Damn.

And fkk I just discussed life on my not-life, supposedly-strictly-art blog. Damn.

Aw, screw it. I'm a bit too loopy and content with EVERYTHING to really care at this point.

WHY DID That Green Gentleman SUDDENLY POP INTO MY HEAD?
Oh well! Things have changed for me...!

Shift

Drew this last Saturday when I got sick of studying for Envirothon. Indiscreetly watermarked because I don't know why. Thought I needed to try some realism. And felt the urge to draw crazy bigass glasses. The kind that were cool in, like, the 90s. RETRO, man. Seems to me like retro is the trend of the future.
Ohohoho.
I like this style. I have so many styles. I should just pick one, but I keep trying different ones, and they're all fun on different levels. Check back here over time, you'll see what I mean. VERSATILE ARTIST? Or just indecisive.
Probably the latter.

Cheers. ~M