What I Talked About: Leadership, team building, and watching the program grow

What I Should Have Talked About:
Finding my voice, my confidence, and the ability to trust myself.

But for all I talk about myself all the time, all the menial shit that no one cares about,
I can't seem to talk about what matters, what makes me significant in this life, in this body, what really counts and what I want people to remember and know and learn from for themselves,
when I am asked.

A problem of mine is having so much to give,
and no way to give it.

My heart is forever alienated from the outside, and there is barely a connection between me and anyone and anything around me. There is one, but it's coated in superficiality and the forced tradition of trying to keep up a conversation that loses all meaning the second it's over.

There are a handful of people who have known me long enough, well enough, deep enough, to be exceptions.
And that's really all one needs, isn't it? Just a handful of close friends.

I suppose I just wish I could convey myself better to the world,
or teach them the things I know,
help them to see things the way I see them.

I suppose maybe that's why I'm an artist.
I suppose maybe that's why I'm never satisfied with the work I do.

I suppose that's why I overcompensate for everything.

I suppose that's why I'm so tired.