Just when I was getting the hang of posting everyday

How long's it been, two days? FAIL.

ERRTHING I DO
I DO IT BIIIIIG *shotdownomg*

Today was............indescribable. In the best way possible. Today was unreal.

Woke up hella late for school and didn't really care. It was one of those "I'm so late, it doesn't even matter if I hurry." I only panicked a little when I realized if I didn't show up for first period, Robbie might freak out LOL awwww baby.

Second period was fly. I was way excited, I couldn't stay still. And I got to talk to the kids in my class, like Wesley and Adrian and Lauren, and teacher sir Mr. Riddle.

 TODAY, Lauren said I was perfect.
^ THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME. ^ I have no idea why what he thinks of me is important
and you know what? He was probably just saying it. Because Adrian fuckin put him on the spot to say it.
But at the same time, something about his character makes me want to believe that he means what he says.
And something about the way he said it, lightly, and with this smile on his face...I just, I didn't know what to do with myself.
I was so shocked too. I instantly rejected him, just out of pure shock. I actually responded with, "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"
It reminds me of that first time that girl next to me in the tiny tiny eighth grade after school choir stopped in the middle of the music, turned to the teacher and said, about me, "She is REALLY GOOD."

Ugh, I just don't know what to do with myself.

Choir, my rehearsal went really well, I think. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but it was the best I'd done to that point.

Math, UH, WINNING.

Lunch was fly as well, I practiced and did well. My voice has been revved up all day! Singing (gently) along to Fall Out Boy in the car on the way to school seemed to have done me well LOL. Best warm-up ever.

Got shit done today in chem, and did not fawn over Chris. I left him very much alone. Uh, success much? I think so!
I really just don't want to weird him out. I'm not even going to date him, so why make things weird between us? That said, my big goal is to stop telling him I love him. I was doing really well, up until he bought those damn tickets. I HAD TO EXPRESS MY LOVE, AUGH.
Dese boys do not accept my affection :O

Actually, my boys do.
I think I'll write a separate post, just about people. I'll do that. Mostly because I already did, but want to get through my day, so I cut it out of this post. I'll put it in a new one, just about people LOL.

Music Appreciation was awesome. It started out with really bad anxiety, the nerves were kicking in and kicking hard. I talked more with Wesley and Mr. Riddle. I like our chill talks. Yeah, today's were weird, but I still appreciated them.
And my oh my, the excited look on Mr. Riddle's face when Natalie and I started belting out that Icarus Account in harmony. I love that girl so much<3 She's so beautiful in so many ways.
And I guess Dear Love is pretty much our song now.

The talent show was incredible. I don't know how the rest of the student body felt, but I was so pumped.
AND ohmygosh this happened.
Robbie was getting really jittery and excitable just before we got on stage, but toned it down when we did. However, once I stepped on with him, his nerves seemed to transfer over to me.
"Okay, NOW I'm freaked out," I said.
He looked at me and just smiled, comfortingly, like Don't Worry, I must be joking. "You've got this. You're golden" is what he said.
And then I think my heart exploded. I can't express how much that moment meant to me.
Exponentially stronger than Lauren saying I'm perfect. That was just a good moment. THIS was monumental. THIS I want to remember. THIS means something, in the long run.

Fast-forward, we didn't put on our best performance musically, but it definitely had the most energy despite having to fill that enormous room. Robbie is a beast. And you know what? Every person in our little band is pretty badass, in our ways. Me, probably the least. I'm not just saying that, it's the truth. But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate these boys, and being appreciated by them.

Fast-forward, I've always been a huge fan of the jazz band, and today they outdid themselves. When they all dove for the circle in the middle of the gym and played together on the floor, oh my God. There are no words to describe that feeling, I can't even imagine how they must have been feeling, besides from the glow on each and every one of their faces. And the continuation of the energy, pure ecstatic energy from the trumpet section as they went absolutely bally mad and ran all the fuck over the gym, up and down the bleachers, kicking and dancing and flapping their arms, going for another few rounds of that song they know so well.

Fast-forward. We were all headed to Starbucks (sans Seth) and Robbie intended that we ride together (which, I didn't know at the time, was hilarious because he was the only one parked in the opposite lot). So I drove over to meet him, and swerved on into the aisle and into the spot right next to him, it was a weird S shape I had to make to get there, AND I FUCKIN' PARKED STRAIGHT. YEAH, IT WAS BOSS. Even Robbie said it was badass. He literally said it was badass.
That, and when I pulled up and rolled down the window, he said, laughing, "I was trying to imagine what you'd drive up in...and this is pretty much exactly what I pictured." Robbie expects me in a decent, clean, newish bright red little car? FINE BY ME. I think I look good in it.
Jonah and Pedro park behind him, and we all get in. I'm already in, and I was "entitled" to shotgun, for being their first. \m/ Later on, I called shotgun again, just because. Jonah was so unaccustomed to not riding shotgun, it was hilarious.
The talk in the car was eventful! Considering the four chill dudes and the girl who is typically a quiet car rider, at least with people she's not used to riding with. It was mellow talk. Robbie listens to the Black Keys, that made me happy. What made me endlessly happy was when I mentioned Blakroc, and Robbie got excited. (1) I just made a worthy contribution to the conversation, (2) I scored music points with the music guru, Robbie Houston. BOOM.
Starbucks was brilliant. It's just, the whole idea of spending time with these guys outside of school, outside of practice, just as part of the group, is so golden to me.
Car ride on the way back was funny, we joked about My Name Is Jonah/Mona/Winona/etcetera, and Free Hug shirts, and the world's obligation to love pugs, and things that rhymed with "pug" and Pedro saying "dog" hahaha.
I believe Robbie appreciates me, and that means so much to me because he commands so much of my respect.
I believe Robbie accepts my affection.
Pedro and Jonah hugged me in response to my affection.
I keep saying this "my affection" stuff because my approach was to tell them to "Accept my affection", and they responded.

I went home, sang in the car, got home and practiced by solo & ensemble music a few times, just running through them, and did some of the best run-throughs I'd done with those songs, ever. I even recorded myself.

I'm psyched for tomorrow. Yeah, I'm scared. I want to do well, I don't want to fall short. I'm probably the most prepared one going, and I want to go to state again. I went to state my first time doing it, and I don't want to back off now. Senior year, let's do this.

I will do that post about people--HOO, boy, do I have a lot to talk about, just from today. A lot of gossip around here. But it's getting late, and I seriously need to go to bed. Sure I won't have to wakeup as early as usual tomorrow, but I still need to catch up on my rest.

Goodnight, all.

I love...and I'm so grateful that I can and do.