Thursday, August 16, 2012

Having the self-control

to not tell that boy how you watched a movie today that made you think of him the entire time.
And how the one character you found mildly attractive became more attractive the more he resembled that boy.
And the way he leveled his face with whomever he was talking to
and the way his gaze was steady, unblinking, the way his was with yours
and the way his mouth was always just open, and the curve of his lips reminded you of the curve of his soft lips
and that afternoon when he stumbled into you by the door on the far side of the school, by the parking lot, pulled you close and asked, he asked, just for one kiss.

I'm not interested. And I'm not in denial. I'm incredibly happy with who I'm with, and seriously see a future with Daniel.
But that boy will always creep into my mind.

And while it's hard for impulsive, blabbermouth, flirtatious me to keep it from him
I can't bring myself to bring it up.
And when he texts me song lyrics tinged with desperation,
I can't reply.
Because I already told him it's not going to happen
and I've already fucked enough people up, haven't I?

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