Another update

I feel like, I am Bobby. I heard "Marry Me a Little" for the first time, watching Company in second period, and thought: "Oh my...this is exactly me. This is where I am, and what I think."And even then I knew.

"Your problem is, you want too little. That's the hardest thing in the world to get."


My obsession with this musical is starting to make a little sense.

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Today was pretty chill,
 up until the assembly where I was reminded that a lot of our generation is lost. Fucking children need to grow up. And then I get mad at their parents for forgetting to teach their kids respect. I know I'm not perfect, but relative to a lot of these kids, I'm very respectful. I look like a freaking angel. And I know that's not the case, so to say they're worse than me......it's really just shameful. I hate the fact that I'm using that word, but that's where it is! Wow, I'm turning into a manufactured product of my family. Okay.



Julian's at it again, prodding at my heart. But this time, I know how to receive it. I'm in control, and my judgment is clear, and I don't intend to make the same mistakes.

Chris is so funny and charming, but it's all in good fun.

I'm getting so much better at not being annoyed with Lauren. I love her to death, so every time I go through an angry phase, I feel really bad because she's always available to take it out on. And she takes it. She adores me, which is endlessly flattering and kind of heart-breaking because I think I'm a terrible role model. She's already such a good person, and so responsible. I don't say this about a lot of people, but she'll surely do well with herself. She's so self-driven and independent, and she takes care of herself and her family. In this way, I look up to her.

It's reached the point where I get perceptively excited when I realize I'll be seeing Jon soon.
No, you don't understand. I'm typically very cool about Jon. That's our relationship, we're so chill.
But it's been a while and I've been a little bit of a physical/mental/emotional wreck lately with school and college and all, and when Shannon talked about sitting on the bus together, and mentioned Jon, I literally flipped. The schoolgirl squeal and everything. I instantly realized how bad it had gotten, I never get that far with Jon. I ought to tell him how much I miss him, for it to have gotten this bad. Not that I don't text him periodically about missing him.

Talking to Daniel has really picked up, from not-at-all to wow-he's-suddenly-the-single-person-I-text-the-most.
In fact, here's a text now. He sent me an email. I believe I shall check it!
God, I love him.
Kaylee, you were so fucking right, he was on my list. I may have put my list aside now, now that I may or may not have my heart set on somebody, but if he were around, ohhhhh he'd be on there.
And he's growing up so much! He asked that one girl on a date. I wonder how that went. The way he told me, he "sort of" asked her out, but it "wasn't the same". He also may or may not have called me hot at one point :x That was interesting, but we kind of let it slide and just kept talking. Since that incident, I've kind of been analyzing his texts now, and my conclusion is that he may be being a little flirty. Not much at all, but there's a little bit there. It's probably just the natural joking nature coming off as flirty.

Although I guess it's hard to avoid when all I ever do is flirt. I'd honestly stop, but I guess it's just the way I talk. The only way to avoid it is to never talk to me lol.

AWW, he sent me pictures from his birthday! He even looks older. Only a very little bit though. Like a young man. In his glasses, I could even understand he's a senior in high school. I could see him becoming a college student soon. Yeah. He's getting there.

A'ight, gonna reply now. Gotta get off blogger, too, and write a one page essay (or find one that I might've already written??) for the scholarship due by 7:30AM tomorrow.
Oh crap, NHS meeting too.

Dang it, why did I procrastinate so much?