14/30

My first thoughts when I got the heart monitor were, "Aw fuck, this is gonna suck balls."
Then I actually wore it, and thought, "You know what? This isn't all that bad."
And then all the times I have to take it off and put it back on came, and I'm right back to, "Aww, this sucks."

Mostly because of the scabbed skin over my ribs, and the perpetual redness around my collarbone. Ugh.


Company songbook, I can't get it out of my head. I'm so excited for tomorrow, for a new day, with second period 50 minutes in the music room, just to play around and make music.
Mrs. Rabe-meyer is coming in, though. That's intimidating. I'd better nail that high A.



Daniel is watching a movie tonight. I wonder if he'll be done before midnight?

I interacted with Jack today. I don't know how it went, but it happened, and well, that's a start.
It turns out he was sitting by himself on the bus up until the last people boarded. I wonder why?
We probably could have used 40 minutes to ourselves to sort things out. And somewhere in me I wish that was the reason. But I know it's probably not. If there was a reason at all, it had nothing to do with me. I'm not that special to him.

Also, I can't tell if he's actually a little jealous of how much Daniel and I communicate now. But surely it's not a total surprise? We were his best friends, the both of us. We still are.

As far as these boys go, I just can't wait to graduate and leave.




I wanna write about today but I really just feel like I can't remember all that happened. There's no lingering feelings, everything is moving forward and looking forward for tomorrow. That's the feeling I've been getting lately. It's not so much as amnesia, but immediate "getting-over-it". This excitement doesn't stick, although I know it's still there.

All I can say is,
OMG concert choir is going to state! ajdhakjshfk.asjfkshdkahsdkahsdkhaj
This is my senior year. This is a big fuckin' ass deal. I've been in this choir for four years and have helped build it to what it is today, and I will not miss the opportunity to go to state MPA as a choir. We made it, finally we made it. And we're gonna work our rear ends off to do well.

...And we're going to learn the "Daniel, Daniel" spiritual. Eat my heart out, okay.



I'm actually really sleeping all of a sudden. And I still have to look over some math concepts! Whatever. Goodnight.

And it really is a good night!