Friends don't break up with friends.

Although I should know better than anyone that’s not true. A friendship is a commitment, just like a romantic relationship. And it can be broken. I’ve done it before, and I guess what goes around comes around.

I just didn’t expect it from you.

You’d think we’d be able to “work it out”, but it’s hard to work out something with someone when you’re not talking.
It’s been so long since we’ve really talked.
No one else seems to notice the change. Does this mean you’re just starting to treat me like everyone else? I didn’t realize this is who you really are. To me, you were always sensitive, perceptive, gentle, understanding…above all, caring. Yet the boy I knew has only showed himself once in the past month and a half, in a rare moment when we were together, and alone. Now the boy I see only ever answers anything with a “Fuck you, bitch.” And proceeds to pursue interaction with someone, anyone, else.
I realize you’re probably joking…but I thought you would’ve noticed I’ve never laughed. Not once.
I can just imagine what you think of me. Taking things too seriously, maybe? Can’t take a joke? I might even be being immature. So what, the mature thing to do is to shrug it off?

I think the truth is, I just can’t stand being treated this way. Especially not by you.

You know, I started off this post thinking he was breaking it off with me. I mean, he keeps pushing me away. I’ve tried to talk to him, and he’ll be receptive in an E-mail, but still rejects me in person, and around other people. I really don’t know how to read that. Does he want me around, or not?
Regardless, he certainly isn’t communicating as though he still wants me in his life. And I can’t handle being thrown back every time I approach. Actually, I’m sick of it. And yes, it fucking hurts.

So now that my thoughts are sorted into words, it looks like I’m the one leaving. But you know, it’s probably better this way, because God knows I don’t shut the door behind me. If he still wants to be friends, he’ll know where to find me.

Yeah, I'll admit: I've been avoiding talking about this. I've been avoiding the topic, avoiding the thoughts, avoiding making a decision--though truth be told, I think this decision's been made, for a while now...just never set in stone. So this is my distress call, this is me tearing out this piece of my heart and making its imprint in concrete. This is me making a decision.
I don’t know, some things you just wanna scream at the top of your lungs, off the top of a building, as if somehow by telling it to the world, it makes it more official. Like you won’t go back on your word. Like I won’t text him as soon as I’m done with this. Like I won’t try to talk to him again tomorrow. Like I won’t keep putting myself through the same bullshit every day.

As cheesy as it is, I literally thought we had something “special”. Based on evidence of how it was and how it is now, I’m inclined to continue believing that we did. Did: past tense. But that has gone and died, now, and it’s time to move forward.

I’ve gotta get out of here.