And it persists.

The Sadness.
I can have a perfectly normal, fine, good day, what have you. But then I go home.
And I look in the mirror.
And I see my eyes, round and empty. Nothing in my face is smiling.
And how long have my eyebrows been tensed up like that, in frowns of disappointment or frustration or defeat?

I breathe heavy. I sigh a lot.
And I frown.

But it was otherwise a good day.
There were so many good things about today.
Like music, and art. My solo, the University of Tampa concert, Grimm.
Talked to Daniel for 5 minutes. Mathematically, that's about 3% the amount of time we usually talk, but with the way I am feeling, it was plenty. Enough to lift my heart for about 5 minutes.

Before it sinks down again, somewhere in my chest, beating hollowly away.

I need to schedule my cardiology appointment.

I need to get some sleep.

And why not tonight? Since I've nothing else to do but wallow in my own unexplainable unhappiness.




My body needs reprieve.