Really, it's so dumb.

All of it. I have all these words, all these thoughts, about to burst out of me, that I need to take up my abandoned blog again, just to write them all down. When none of it really matters, in the long-run.

Bottom line, my friends are my friends. Clara, Michael, Abel, Julian. They're all my friends. I shouldn't be trying to analyze what's wrong or what's right with our relationships. I'm just supposed to care about them and be there when they want me. If that's always, I'll do my best. If it's never, well, fine by me.

If Clara wants to go to a museum with me, I want to go, too.

If Michael doesn't care to have me in his life anymore, so be it. He's always welcome in mine.

If Abel doesn't spare me a thought, that's fine. He's just another boy. I'll see him again soon enough. There will be plenty of time for us in the future, if we find something worth pursuing.

If Julian only needs someone who will never give up on him, well, he's got it. It's silly for me to think I can get him out of my life anytime before graduation. Plus, I think it says something, how we don't talk or hang out that much, but we're still close. As much bullshit as I have taken from him, it really doesn't matter. I should know I can't take him seriously. He doesn't do it on purpose. I'm not just being easy on him; everything is as much my fault as it is his. I've been telling myself I shouldn't have to deal with it, with him, but in the end, the only one who's been making me, was me. I really don't have to take his crap. I don't have to take his crap to be his friend.
I don't want to lose him, if I don't have to. I don't want him out of my life, any sooner than he has to be.

And that's just how it is.

Everything's going to be all right, and I'm gonna keep on keepin' on, the rest of senior year. Keep on.

Happy New Year, everyone.